There is such great hope!  We are the ones we have been waiting for and we are doing it!  I spent last weekend in Los Angeles with graduates of the Agents of Conscious Evolution course.  Barbara Marx Hubbard (creator of the course), Stephen Dinan and Deva Haley Mitchell (co-founders of the Shift Network that presents the course and offered this weekend for free), Patricia Ellsberg (Barbara’s sister and co-creator of the Ego to Essence course), Victoria Friedman (co-creator of Vistar Evolutionary Circles) and 150 others from all over the U.S. and eight other countries (including a woman from Iran) gathered together without knowing the agenda.  We all knew we wanted to be part of the synergy that would happen with so many conscious people gathered together under the leadership of Barbara.  We were so not disappointed!             

Although the main theme of this writing is Conscious Evolution, it touches all areas of life.  For instance, there were a dozen of us who met to share and co-create solutions/programs/support for Today’s Kids.  To name just a few, there is a Global Network of Healing Centers for children coordinated by Cedars-Sinai; programs in California—one called Sparks and Leaps that teaches parents and children how to turn challenges into celebrations, and one teaching pre-teens imaginary journeys to learn to find and trust their inner voice; a program in Mexico called Save the Children that provides parent/teacher support and a manual to give the children of poverty what they need to thrive; a filmmaker from Hollywood creating short videos to inspire pre-teens and teens with stories and rites of passage other than the darkness of the Twilight series, etc.; and more. 

There were leaders from around the world who are on the edge of creating whole new currency and economic systems; Australian and U.S. women creating and building sustainable cooperative communities(there were about ten percent men there—we need you, guys); artists and musicians creating art that leads us into the new ways of thinking needed to transform our cultures; successful  international media, public relations and entertainment world people who are impacting the messages sent to the public; political leaders and grassroots organizers focused on bringing about Syn-Cons (synergistic connections) to transform democracy; many people actively working in countries throughout the world to end the causes of poverty and war (like Project LIGHT Rwanda); spiritual leaders; healers (traditional medical and alternative); scientists; attorneys and those working in restorative justice; computer communication wizards; and many whose talent is to hold the energy of hope, love and Oneness.

I wish to share the profound impact of this weekend because we can all create the same in our local communities, and I believe it is essential that we do.  The “resonant field” that was created by all of us moving into and holding the energy of our deepest Essence (Soul-Center, Spirit, God-Center, Universal Self—whatever you call it) was powerful beyond words.  It supported and supports us as we go out into our individual lives with the commitment to make a difference.  We make a difference by knowing we can, by practicing being in our “purest” Essence, by being open to all the synchronicities that allow us to co-create, and by offering whatever our personal gifts are to the greater good of our communities, humanity and our planet.  It is time to find one another, to allow ourselves to think BIG, to know deep within that we can create the world we hope for—and we are!          

It is exciting, gratifying, wonderful, amazing to be alive at this time in history, but it is also very difficult. The schedules, practices, organization, “givens,” and old reliable ways of navigating life no longer work. We know how we want our interactions, our work, our moment to moment life to feel and we have moments of realizing that, but so often we know how it could be, and it just doesn’t get there. There is a drive in all of us, and some of us are now consciously feeling it. This drive is to move to what is better, more satisfying, more meaningful. I have always thought of it as being somewhat “Type A” and labeled it as slightly negative. I am discovering that is not true.

Many of today’s leading-edge thinkers, mystics and sages are talking about the unprecedented change that is to happen about 12/21/2012. The great majority agree that it is not the end of the world, but the end of society as we know it—that is, it will be if we are to survive as a species. There are many indicators that this is so—the state of the world economy, the political unrest throughout the world even in places that had been controlled to eliminate that, the atmospheric and weather changes, the dwindling pool of natural resources, the disillusionment of our youth and the rise of gangs, and the toxins in our air, water and food and in the earth itself.

From throughout the world, the wisest of us are seeing a similar solution. For the first time in history we understand that our thoughts/energy create. We know that groups of us joined together with a focused intent affect outcomes. We know that nature promotes those organisms that cooperate, and that nature inherently wants to seek balance. We know that evolution has happened in leaps and spurts throughout history, beginning with the Big Bang. We know deep in our core that we can make a difference in ourselves and through that, in our planet. But how?

It must begin with becoming acutely aware in every moment of the effect of what we think and do on others and the environment. We must find our individual way of connecting to the Essence, God part, Universal Intelligence of our inner being and coming to the place where we can choose to allow that part to manage our ego—not destroy our ego. It is through our Local, Individual, Ego Self that we make things happen in the world. The source of what those things will be must now come from our Essence, Higher Self, Divine Field, Universal Intelligence, God Within or whatever words make that real for you. I know these are just words until you have the experience of being quiet enough, long enough, with enough emotional clearing to truly feel your Essence. There are so many “issues” that we use to veil that experience. Perhaps the most potent is our fear of the power we have if we are deeply connected to our Universal Self, and our lack of experience with using it.

That drive I mentioned at first: Barbara Marx Hubbard and others define it as the drive of evolution itself held within us. Back in the 1980’s I read a paper written by a Methodist Minister who posed the question “Is God Evolving?” It was a very controversial topic at the time. More and more thinkers are answering “Yes” to that question, and God, Divine Source is doing it through each of us; but in order for us to realize what could be, we must co-create together. More on that to come.

Dona Eden showing her

Energy Medicine Exercises:

COOK'S HOOK UP

ZIP UP

Overwhelm is everywhere: whether in Rwanda, Australia, or here, and those of us who have more highly tuned neurological and energy systems are especially good at feeling it (do the checklist below to see if you might be what is called an empath). But I have been noticing that I actually feel more overwhelmed here in the U.S. than in Africa where the lack of creature comforts causes almost constant physical stress. There are many reasons for greater overwhelm here including my partial shift back into the mind-set of accomplishment and deadlines. However, I remember that in Rwanda I expected to have difficult energies around me, and I did my favorite Energy Medicine exercises to protect and realign my energy frequently during the day and evening. We taught the Project LIGHT students Dona Eden’s Energy Medicine Daily Routine and did it every morning. They looked forward to it and reminded us if we forgot. I’ve picked two techniques that are easy and effective in bringing that scattered, ready to scream, feeling back to relief and focus: Cook’s Hook Up and Zip Up.

For all Energy Medicine exercises, breathe slowly in your nose and out your mouth. Step One on the Zip Up card shows the “thump” that is always to be done first, as it assists our primary energy meridians (the ones used in acupuncture) to run in the correct direction (they can go backwards after stress). That allows all the other exercises to do what they are intended to do.

1. To find the spot to thump, touch the collarbone points that protrude the most, close to the center, then move your fingers below the bone and slightly further apart to find the indentations or hollows on both sides at the top of breastbone. Tap vigorously for at least five slow breaths.

2. For Cook’s Hook Up cross your left ankle over your right. Then extend your left hand straight in front with your palm turned out to the side and cross your right hand over your left wrist with your palm facing the left palm. Clasp your fingers, and then bend your fist down and under and up to your chest. Take four slow breaths and then release your hands downward with a flourish and a strong exhale. This exercise is intended to focus your mind, bring out your best skills, and calm overwhelm.

3. For Zip Up stand up and drop both hands straight down in front of you, close together and with palms facing your body, about one or two inches from your body. Take a deep breath in as you slowly and carefully bring your slightly cupped hands up the front of your body to just below your lower lip. Twist your fingers as if you are turning a key in a lock at your lip. Continue moving your hands up, joyfully spreading them into the sky. Circle your hands back down and repeat at least three times. This integrates and seals in your energy system as you are tracing the Central Meridian. It has been shown to protect a person from negative thoughts and energies sent from others, and can help you distance yourself from the chaotic energy in public places.

As with all methods that are intended to realign and change habits, the more often and consistently you do these exercises, the greater the effect. I have been known to duck into the Ladies’ Room for a quick Zip Up after an encounter with disagreeable energy. I can’t think of a time when it hasn’t helped me even though the energy outside didn’t change.

I promised you a checklist to see if you might call yourself an empath, so here it is. You might also want to check out the classes being offered at QuietStar about how to manage and care for a more sensitive body-mind-energy system at quietstar.com.

“ARE YOU AN EMPATH?” Created by Elaina Geltner and Robin Klickstein

If you answered Yes to more than 5, it’s pretty likely you are an empath.

Stay tuned for more musings about the Rwanda experience and more insights about the lessons it presented to me, and those for all of us on the planet.

Betty (who wants to be

a teacher) teaching EFT

for an internet mailing

to 300,000 people.

What an unbelievably wonderful two days (but we do believe it). Yesterday we started our usual way with the Energy Medicine Daily Routine and then the Check-In where students tell what has been difficult and what they are grateful for since the last Check-In. We had an extremely busy day planned to be sure to get in a session on forgiveness, more on heart-focus, more on business planning, and more on changing perspective. Lori tore up the notes she had after the third student’s Check-In. Unbeknownst to us, all of them had gotten together and gone over all their notes from the three weeks and thought about what the program has meant to them. Remember that they started out with most of them feeling isolated, hopeless for their future, feeling unworthy and with extremely low scores on the Quality of Life Inventory. I want to quote some of what was said (we did not script this at all): Drogba said “The first few days I was in darkness and now I am in full light, and I won’t cover my light ever again, I will share it so others can find it too.” Etienne had a dream that he was in another African country teaching what he has learned at Project LIGHT. Mathieu said, “In Leadership I learned that you have to change yourself before you can help or lead others and always ask, ‘What is needed here?’, so if there is a riot you can think about what makes people come and riot.” He also talked about two high school students with problems that he has been helping and they consider him their counselor so he really doesn’t want to leave them. Yvette said, “I started feeling well for the first time when I came here. After I got my diploma from secondary school I was happy for a few months, but then saw that it was meaningless because I had to just stay at home with no job, no money and just being sad and confused. In the beginning here when you taught that we have to love and accept ourselves, at first I couldn’t feel it at all. Then I prayed and asked for the learning to enter my heart. It did and now I love myself so much.” Fidele: “I am so grateful for your love. You come from a country where life is much easier and you even come up the mountain from Kigali on bad roads and bad climate and you leave your families to come here. The Bishop taught us about unity and reconciliation and it is not easy to live with someone who killed your family, but I believe I can and I can teach others. I have learned that everyone can be a leader, and I now believe I can succeed. I now know so many people around the world think about us.” Etienne said, “Before I came here I had no hope and could do nothing and I didn’t even pray. All the things I’ve learned here are very important. It’s helped my critical thinking and bettered my mind and all my abilities. Now I pray every day and in the future I will become a pastor.”

I will write more in future blogs of what the students have said, but the impact of their words had all of us on the team in tears of joy and gratitude. The way these young people took everything we taught them, shared and multiplied their understanding, connected and supported one another, trusted us enough to try things totally foreign to anything they had experienced before, and found their inner passion for life and the future blows us away. The only explanation we have come up with is that above anything else, we loved them and we showed up for them through harrowing drives up the mountain in the rain even when exhausted and slightly ill. The other explanation is that when a person suffers the most extreme of traumas, the crucible of that experience creates a strength of character, soul, that yields expanded capacities. All it takes is clearing the negative effects of the trauma and a catalyst to ignite their innate knowing. Words cannot express the joy, amazement and humility I feel at being allowed to be a part of this. To all of you who supported me financially, emotionally or spiritually, thank you, thank you.

Alisoun and "It's

Possible"

Each day seems more amazing than the last. There were so many synchronicities and satisfactions today. Our favorite interpreter, Sharon, has a beautiful voice and writes her own music. She wrote a song just for us: “Imagine what a difference we could make together, if we join our hands together as one”. The melody and rhythm are addicting. Paul, the film maker, corralled one of the students who is an exceptional drummer and taught him how to record by listening to Sharon on earphones. The result could very well become a hit. It will be in the video that is being made to accompany the interview Lori had with Jessica Ortner from the Tapping Solution. Our PLR Ambassadors came up with twelve benefits they had received from tapping (EFT), showing depth, insight and gratitude. They chose the top five, and then chose the five students who speak the best English, and those students came up to the camera, said their name and the tapping benefit. Then one girl who started out so shy, demonstrated the entire tapping process for an e-mailing list of 300,000 people with clarity and confidence. All of us were crying to see the transformation from naïve, shy, isolated, self-doubting, hopeless young people to vibrant, confident, creative, hopeful leaders. They have become a team, supporting one another by going to visit one student’s ill mother, doing tapping with them when a student has a problem, feeling incomplete when one is missing (only one student has missed one day), and the local students inviting the homeless ones home to meet their families. Several of the students have lost all family members except a few cousins or one sibling, and two have lost all known family members. Some do not know their birthdays because there is no one to tell them and they were too young at the genocide to know. Two of them have almost constant pain from their injuries and diseases—although the neck pain of one has gone away and the other has a reduced level of pain after tapping on those issues. They look forward to the Energy Medicine Daily Routine (simplified so they can teach others) every morning and report feeling calmed and ready to learn afterward.

Alisoun and I had a group of 33 high school students in the afternoon to begin teaching them to become peer counselors. They are so enthusiastic, and so eager to help other students and us. We use a regular classroom which is an experience in itself. I mentioned before that the blackboard eraser is a torn piece of foam mattress. The board has ripples and sandpapery places and slick places, and you can’t get all of the past writing off. Everything within six feet of the board is covered with chalk dust, and whoever erases the board coughs for several minutes. The chalk breaks after a few sentences when it hits one of the rough spots. It is hard for the students to see what you write because the board is so white from the layers of chalk still there. We gather small pieces of chalk from the floor by the board to use, as there is no chalk tray. Since there are almost no books and definitely not a book for each student, everything has to be written on the board. The teachers have to be dedicated to the students, or they would not continue under these conditions.

We stayed at the school until 6:30 tonight to have a Skype call with Pacific Grove Middle School in California tonight. The call did not work, but the students were prepared with Sharon’s song, a cheer we use (It’s Possible), and thank yous for their T-shirts and crystal heart necklaces. We will try again for the call. We used 19 of the solar book lights to illuminate the area next to the computer enough to do the call at dusk. The two two-foot fluorescent light bulbs in the library were not enough to really even read by (and the power went out for about thirty-minutes). The solar lights are one of the products the students will be selling as part of their cooperative business venture. Tomorrow we continue with the peer counselors and the PLR Ambassadors will make a matrix of all the skills that each member of the group possesses to start their creative process to decide on what business ventures are best for them.

Project LIGHT is working! When you walk into the room we use for training you can feel the hopeful, magic energy that everyone together has created. It truly is an international, intergenerational, interracial co-creation.

It doesn’t seem possible that we have only five days left with the students. We will have a graduation ceremony on Saturday afternoon. Each morning we start by checking in with each student about what was difficult and what they felt grateful for the day and night before. The majority no longer talk about what has been difficult (the first week they had to be encouraged to find gratitude), and list multiple blessings. One of the students today was grateful for all the changes he sees in himself and in the others since the beginning of the program, the major one being that they have hope and feel peaceful inside. Today the focus was on entrepreneurship. We did the “It’s Possible” exercise where they are to take a half-sheet of paper and make a hole big enough to step through with all their body. It is possible. This group found the solution faster than any other group Alisoun has done it for, including children and top corporate executives. I have my theories about why that is true: poverty and survival force being resourceful; and constant contact with the cycles of nature and moving around without street signs or house numbers make their spatial abilities well developed. My testing is showing much greater skill in visual-motor integration, visual and spatial memory and other right-brained functions as well.

Then two officers of the Equal Opportunity Bank in Kigali came to talk to us about savings accounts and microfinance. The students were so enthusiastic and engaged that they would not let them go. We had lunch an hour late. For all of you out there that think you are paying high interest, the interest is 1.5% per month. That equals over 36% per year. They do offer many services, including monthly tutoring sessions, personal contact with the cooperative group to help with planning, and they are making a loan to unproven people with no collateral. They do pay 4.5% interest on savings.

Tomorrow we focus on skills needed to be a team member and skills needed for an employer. The students are being formed into a remote group (those that live near the school on top of the mountain) and the Kigali group. There are six in each group. We will set up group savings plans, and one suggestion is that the remote group that has access to agriculture bring food to the Kigali group and the Kigali group bring money and “city” supplies to the remote group. We have two products for them to begin selling almost immediately, and have started prototypes of craft items they can market to the U.S. if we can get shipping worked out. Several of these students have no place to go after the program is over, and no reliable source of food. We will subsidize housing for a few months until they get their businesses going.

It hasn’t rained for two days, so the roads are dusty again, and our “chariot” had a gas leak with awful fumes, so I need to do tapping to get my body back to balance and get as much sleep as possible. Sorry, can't get a picture to upload tonight.

and Shauna dancing--the

orbs are back

The team

The electricity is off and so is the internet. The internet is actually better on the mountain than it is here at the guest house. Today the students were tired from a play put on last night about HIV/AIDS. They said it was hilarious and very well done, and it was exciting because another high school was invited. I don’t know where they put them all. It is quite possible they sat on one another’s laps. I did about 20 minutes of testing with eight of them today, and I will finish the other four Monday. They are doing surprisingly well on a measure that shows neurological problems in the visual/spatial/motor aspects of the brain. I had thought many of them would have been head injured and do poorly. So far, none has done really poorly, and only two show some problems. They are so willing to try what you suggest and so grateful for almost anything you do for them.

I promised to tell about our bus (a maxi-van made for 13 people) of yesterday. Today we had what would be called a klunker in the U.S., but yesterday we had one of the worst vehicles I have ever seen that has not been in a crash—or maybe it had. Every time we went over the big rocks or deep ruts or huge puddles it shook so much we could not hear one another and we were sure we had lost at least two more parts. The seatbelt was twisted into a rope and frayed on both edges and then folded in half. There were only bare wires where a radio should have been, and other openings with either nothing or bare wires. The emergency brake was broken off and waving wildly over the bumps. Several times he had to try three times to get it into the next gear. The front seats had seat covers with plastic over them, but the rest of the seats had foam sticking out, and the driver had to pick up a metal rod to stick into the fold-down seat before it would work. There were no handles to roll up windows, and the driver had to get a handle that he was using as a key chain to stick on the metal nub to roll up the windows which took two hands, one to pull up on the glass and one to turn the stiff handle. There is more, but I think you get the idea. If we did not believe that we will be OK to finish our purpose here, we would have been pretty scared. We made it home and Lori requested another vehicle for today. I’m sorry to say that others who have been to more parts of Africa report it is not all that unusual. We took extra people down the mountain for the weekend, so we had ten people plus the driver. I didn’t get a picture of it, but above is a picture of today’s van with our team: Front left clockwise—Gakuba (interpreter, only 51 years old), Paul, Alisoun, Sharon (favorite interpreter), Shauna, Lori, Richard, and Eric (interpreter).

The pictures of the last two days are showing the orbs again, and not just when they are dancing. The orbs are smaller. I don’t know what that is related to, but we have smaller numbers of students this year. The energy of connection and joy is increasing as the students do more and more trauma healing and have more and more experiences of connection. Our PLR students are hearing from the school students about problems they are having, and our students are teaching them tapping with consistent good results. They are fully stepping into their roles of leadership and helping. Next week will continue some trauma healing, but will be mostly focused on the entrepreneurship and skill development and planning for how they will form teams to continue after we leave. I have even greater connections with the students this year than last, so I’m not thinking about the leaving.

I continue to see the evidence of such extreme poverty that we have no reference points for. Children walk in flip flops made out of tires, carrying loads of branches or grass or bananas on their heads that are bigger than they are for miles on red dirt and red rock roads. People walk for miles on Wednesday and Saturday, bringing on their heads or on bicycles whatever they have to trade for the things they need—rice, cassava, carrots, cloth, grass, firewood, cabbages, bananas, mangoes, avocados (twice the size of ours), second-hand T-shirts, pots, and things I don’t know what they are. I saw that the driver of the van was paid 2000 Rwandan Francs (about $3.30) for a 10-hour day. Drivers are considered one of the better jobs. People in the villages have no possibility of a job without going the 2-hour moto bike ride into Kigali. I am reminding myself of how much I cannot understand their life every time I have a negative reaction to seeing someone holding out their hand and saying “where’s the money” as we drive or walk by. Most react with excited waving and big smiles. There are so many more things to tell about, but I must get to scoring the tests and preparing for tomorrow.

NOTE: The internet went down last night and this morning, so I couldn’t post this. I have been scoring tests and planning for tomorrow until very late, so no blog tonight (Friday). I really do need to tell you about the “bus” we rode in down the mountain today—later.

The Inspiration Assembly

The Project LIGHT students are changing and accepting every challenge we give them. Today we had the entire student body in an assembly (500 students) and our PLR students led them in an exercise called quishi misha which gets the whole room laughing. Then they demonstrated how it takes unity and cooperation to make things happen through a skit. These are young people who have had no resources or opportunities, and often no food or lodging. They have been victims over and over, and to see them leading 500 students, smiling and laughing, willing to look silly in front of them was heart-warming. Two of the girls and one of the boys could barely be heard when we started, even just to say their name. The assembly was to tell everyone what the plans are for helping them heal and never have a week again like last week, and to inspire them to see how much they have already healed. The energy and atmosphere at the school is palpably lighter. We found out another factor that helped trigger the trauma incidents. Two of the girls and their friends were having significant conflict, so the school called in the local constable to talk to them (Police were the first and large portion of the perpetrators in the genocide). While he was there one of the girl’s beds collapsed with a loud bang. That started the incidents.

We have only one more day of the wonderfully organized transformational leadership training because Richard has to go back to Tanzania. All of the exercises take much longer because not only does it need to be interpreted, but the students are just learning to think about things they have not memorized, have never heard of many of the concepts nor the words for them, and show the memory effects of trauma. Finally on Saturday Lori will do the individual interviews with all the students to hear their genocide stories—the plan was to have her do that on the first Tuesday, but you know about plans in Africa.

Shauna and I are loving the craft group. They are younger students (16 to 18) and wide-eyed about new ideas and the opportunities being given to them. Our interactions are so joyful. Nineteen of the 21 came today with bracelets they had finished. Not only did they create designs we had not thought of, but for most of them their handiwork was superior to ours. They all enthusiastically agreed to continue making bracelets and talk about partnering with a new company in Santa Barbara to make a business for the school. They agreed to give their bracelets to the company to sell for only the promise of getting to keep one at the end of next week. The PLR students will join them on Saturday. I took pictures of them in the classroom which seats 44 students. I also took a picture of the blackboard eraser—a piece of torn foam mattress.

I think I should explain why the students are older than the usual secondary school students. First, during and for about a year after the genocide there were no schools open. Many of these students could find no family and had no real place to live, so could not go to any school. They definitely did not have money to attend what we call a private school. So, they have missed years of education. The other primary factor is that trauma tends to freeze you at the emotional age when the trauma occurred. So sometimes their answers and actions reflect great wisdom, and at other times they show the innocence of elementary school.

My eyes are closing, and another amazing day awaits.

Learning Tapping (EFT)

What a fun day! The school has re-instituted groups that they previously had and started a choir and drama club. Shauna and I started the craft group of 21 students out of the 50 we will be training as peer counselors this Sunday. We taught about creativity and innovation and resourcefulness (they could teach us about that, they just don't know the word or concept). They were so excited to begin seeing what kind of bracelets they can create out of fabric that we left for them along with scissors and other tools. They elected a leader to be responsible for gathering all the materials and for being sure they get together while we are not there. They could not believe that we were leaving all of it for them to use. Tomorrow we have a meeting with the entire student body about the trauma incidents and the plans to be sure that never happens again. Today we did further trauma release training using Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping) for the PLR students to be models for the meeting tomorrow. The stressful issue they chose was having to take cold showers early in the morning. I would have to do tapping on that issue myself. When we thought we were going to live at the orphanage, one of the things I said I would have to have was a warm shower--there's no way they know of to do that. I’m really glad we are in Kigali at the German Guest House.

One of the leadership training exercises is called “Falling Leader.” I had heard of variations of it before, but not seen nor participated. Today I stood at the edge of a four-foot table with my back to the students and then fell backwards to be caught by them. It sounds easy, but two of the staff were unable to do it. I gathered the same courage I use to leap into major changes in my life or to let go of the zip line high in a tropical forest or to go snorkeling when I’m afraid of swimming. It was exhilarating. I am learning so much, both from the trainings themselves, and from the kids. The questions they ask are illuminating, like “Why does the U.S. speak only English?” “How is it in the U.S. for a black person to marry a white person? How would you feel if your daughter wanted to marry a black man?” “How many rooms does your house have? How many other people live there?” They also ask the most innocent questions and do not know the meaning of what to us are very common words such as nervous, tingling, schedule, artist, scared, etc. They have no word in Kinyarwandan for them.

PLR students doing a leadership

exercise switching their order

without touching the ground

One of the gifts and the frustrations of working in Africa is that no pre-set plan can ever be relied upon: The 3:00 appointment may come at 11:00 or 6:00; the electricity may go off; the internet may go down; there may be a traffic jam that lasts hours; there may be a rock slide or broken log bridge; the item you need may not exist here or the store be out indefinitely; the needs of the people may not be what you thought. It turns out that in order to do the most important parts of the Project LIGHT training and help the school with the intense recurrence of trauma outbreaks we will be working seven days per week with longer planning sessions at night. We are going to address the entire student body tomorrow and get the PLR students ready in the morning to assist us. Then on Sunday we will train 50 more high school students to be peer counselors. We also have to find time to work in training the teachers. These things take precedence over the African crafts I wanted to find to bring back home to my friends and family, and even over accepting the many invitations we have had to visit in private homes.

I am having to learn focus on the primary mission and how to hold my boundaries. In comparison to almost all Rwandans any American or European is rich. I have three young men either outright asking me or “setting me up” to ask for me to be their sponsor. I have one of the adult helpers asking me to buy him a digital camera. Some of the children we wave to on the streets say, “where is the money?” Although I understand that if I had the poverty and difficulty of their lives I might focus only on how I could feel more secure and comfortable, I still can feel de-personalized and discounted as a fellow being. It is a wonderful opportunity to taste profiling, and it is bitter.

The students are blossoming so beautifully. They did leadership exercises today, and step forward to accept challenges, speak out, and risk in ways that they would have not believed a week ago. We have them tell us one thing that was difficult the previous day or night, and one thing they are grateful for each morning. Several of them said they were grateful for how much love is happening in the group and how much they are feeling like a family. Remember that these are orphans. One student who does have some family took another student who has no family at all to his home village over the weekend. One student who knew only one of the other students when she came went home for the weekend but did not get to see her relative who was sick in the hospital. He died yesterday, and the other students comforted her and prayed for her as if she was a long-time friend.

Because of all of the unexpected trauma incidents we have not been able to take the time to have our individual interviews with the students to hear the details of their stories. We plan on that for early next week. After that I will share some of their stories with you. Time for sleep and recharging for tomorrow.